8/31/99
I met Ron many years ago. After I left the navy, I
returned home to find all my friends had moved away. In the small
Maine town I lived in, there wasn't much to do. Ron worked as a
waiter at a very nice cozy little restaurant downtown. I went there
3 or 4 times a week just to get out of the house. After just a few weeks,
Ron told me it was time to really get out at night, and go with him after
work.
I hated going out as I was not handsome or popular.
Ron on the other hand was a young, tall, handsome man with a great tan and
warm smile. He was the type of guy I hated as everyone loved him. I
was afraid that around him, no one would know I existed. I thought
about it a few days and decided I had nothing to loose. One Friday
night I walked in and told him I was ready to give it a try! Off we
went!
That was the first of many nights out on the town
together. Ron made me feel good about myself even though we had
little in common. I just enjoyed his sense of humor and friendship.
He was like a kid brother to me and I loved him very much. I had
some of the best times of my life with him. When AIDS came out and doctors
knew how people got it, I talked Ron into being tested 3 times as he lived
a wild life. Each time he got a clean bill of health, and I was
happy. I often asked if he played it safe and he did most of the
time.
After a few years past by, Ron did in fact get full
blown AIDS. I was so angry with him as he had a clean bill of health
and knew how not to get AIDS. Yet with all the facts, Ron still did
the wrong things with his life and got a death sentence he could have
avoided.
I loved Ron so much, yet my love was not enough to stop
him from bad habits that could have saved his life. The last week of
Ron's life was spent on Morphine to cut back on the pain. I held his
hand in mine as he took his last breath and wondered if it was worth it to
him. I sat in the chair staring at the wall as Ron's hand slowly
became cold in mine and thought of what a loss this was to the world!
A young man that didn't have to die. I prayed that never again would
I have to sit back and watch a friend place there life in danger for no
reason at all when they could have stopped it!
I miss my dear friend so much and often wish that my
love for him would have been enough to make him want to live a long life
and take better care of himself.
After Ron passed away, I went on with living my life and
making new friends. In [company] I have met some wonderful people that I
love very much. In fact I love them like dear sisters. A few of you
are my dearest friends and many of you make up most of my friends.
All of you and the Star Gazers make up 80% of all my friends sense I have
moved. Yet, there is one among you that I love with my whole heart.
She is my dearest friend at this stage in my life. I love her more
than I'm able to express. I envy her husband and children that get
to live with her. She is a wonderful lady that has enriched my life!
In the worst of times and the best, she has been a part of my life.
After many years, only she has been able to fill the void my beloved Ron
left behind.
Just a few weeks ago my worst nightmare came true.
When I needed support to make it through the ACS part of conference, she
was there. We talked just before It started, then I went to my
place. As the program went on, I thought about how great it was to
have so much support in [company] from all of my friends. Next thing
I know, Dianne Baldridge spoke a truth I had not thought about.
QUIT SMOKING!
My mind flashed back to Ron and how he could have
changed his outcome. Then I thought about my [company] friend.
She was a smoker that had not yet quit. She can change just one
thing in her life that might be the one that saves her. I don't know
what I would do if I lost her to lung cancer or any of the many other
things smoking causes. I wish that my love for her was enough to
make quitting worth it, but it's not. She must do it on her own!
Her family and I can only sit back and watch her puff away. She is
hoping like Ron, did that it won't happen to her. The fact is that
it's going to happen to someone that smokes and why not her? Ron
made changes in his life only after he became sick and it was too late.
Must she also face death before quitting? It scares me.
Your [company] family is asking you to think about
quitting this year. Dianne Baldridge spoke for all of us when she
asked you to quit! I can't think of any of you that smoke I wish
cancer on. Those of you that have touched my life in any way even if
only by e-mail, I love you! Please think about who loves you.
Star Gazers, my sky would never be so bright without you! We sit and
say little to you as we know what you would say to us. Let me tell
you it is painful to watch you take a chance that it won't be you. We
love you!
My dearest friend, and you know who you are; I
will do anything in the world for you! Please think about quitting
so that you never have to ask me to hold your hand as you slip away from
us.
With love, Hank
P.S. Please sell the Gemini in September. |